With Valentine’s Day just around the corner here are 100 great ways to guarantee you’ll stay single.

All in good fun. Nevertheless all true and submitted by readers of my book How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You in 90 Minutes or Less. 

The Kindle version is available for just $1.50 for the month of February on Amazon.com and $1.99 on Amazon.ca.

  1. Use a coupon on your first date
  2. Flirt with Bed Head
  3. Turn-up for your first date 6 months pregnant
  4. Brush your teeth once a week
  5. Throw yourself at people
  6. Turn down all social invitations
  7. Talk about your previous sexual conquests
  8. Be high maintenance and make lots of unreasonable demands
  9. Flirt with the waitress instead of your date
  10. Bite your nails so your fingers tell people you are a stressed-out, nervous wreck
  11. Let hair grow where it shouldn’t
  12. Avoid making eye contact when you meet someone for the first time
  13. Act bored and be sarcastic
  14. Gossip a lot
  15. Wear cheap or badly fitting clothes
  16. Tell everyone you know that love at first sight is a load of baloney
  17. Send mixed signals, like smiling when you are angry
  18. Dive at your date slobber all over his or her face when you are drunk on the first date
  19. Eat with your mouth open and if possible make lots of noise
  20. Slouch
  21. Interrupt people when they are talking
  22. Snort when you laugh
  23. Make sure your fingernails are dirty and chipped
  24. Talk loudly in the middle of a movie at the cinema or at the theatre……or church……library…etc.
  25. Tell lies
  26. Constantly pull your pants up
  27. Check out everyone of the opposite sex in the room instead of your date
  28. Spend lots of time looking at yourself in the mirror or shop windows as you pass
  29. Always bring the conversation back to yourself
  30. Constantly yank up your bra strap
  31. Overload your perfume or aftershave
  32. If you smoke make sure your clothes smell of tobacco
  33. Break wind in public
  34. Dress as if you were 20 years younger than you really are
  35. Act like you know it all
  36. Forget to flirt
  37. Avoid entertaining
  38. Wear business socks with sandals
  39. Sit with your legs wide open in social situations
  40. Go to bed early every night
  41. Avoid traveling
  42. Spit in the street (this works especially well if you’re a woman)
  43. Pick at your acne
  44. Use loads of foul language
  45. Get addicted to TV, video games or the Internet
  46. Act like a victim and feel sorry for yourself all the time
  47. Wear clothes 2 sizes too small so people will have ammunition to criticize you
  48. Phone people in the middle of the night (especially after a couple of cocktails)
  49. Wear a poorly-fitting toupee
  50. Let spit fly out of your mouth when you talk
  51. Be a hermit
  52. Change the subject abruptly in the middle of a conversation
  53. Talk about your ailments
  54. Look around the room when someone is talking to you
  55. Scratch a lot
  56. Fold your arms when talking to other people
  57. Be inflexible and unwilling to change
  58. Gain plenty of excess weight
  59. Cough without covering your mouth
  60. Get drunk as often as possible
  61. Act frigid and aloof
  62. When you’re in a conversation with someone you don’t know, keep touching them on the arm or the back, even though you just met
  63. Pick your teeth and eat what you find
  64. Anticipate what the other person is going to say and butt in
  65. Wear dirty clothes
  66. Pick your nose when you think no-one is looking
  67. Talk about stuff no one wants to know about like your haemorrhoids or your mother
  68. Scare people with your driving
  69. Talk more than you listen
  70. Talk about how much money your ex makes
  71. Hang up the phone without saying goodbye
  72. Wipe your nose on your sleeve
  73. Always aim for sex on the first date
  74. Chain smoke
  75. Be hard to please
  76. Don’t give feedback
  77. Fall asleep when someone is talking to you
  78. Play with your crotch in public
  79. Try to change others to what you want them to be
  80. Talk on your cell phone during a date
  81. Do drugs
  82. Wash your hair twice a month (or less)
  83. Put your face right up against people when you talk to them
  84. Go overboard trying to impress people
  85. Monopolize conversations
  86. Burp in public
  87. Leave food stains on your clothing
  88. Ask embarrassing personal questions
  89. Don’t wear deodorant
  90. Turn conversations into belligerent arguments
  91. Brag about how much money you make
  92. Close yourself off to as many new experiences as possible
  93. Don’t clean your living space
  94. Don’t wash your car
  95. Don’t vacuum your car
  96. Argue as much as possible over minor issues
  97. Eat garlic and/or onions before a date
  98. Keep a vicious animal as a pet
  99. Let infestations form in your attic or refrigerator
  100. Talk on your cell phone in the car, in a restaurant, anywhere where you and your “date” are….especially in front of your date….Oh and don’t forget to talk really loud, so everyone can hear your end of the conversation.

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