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In the movie Bridget Jones’s Diary, Bridget found herself caught between two men, one who’s too good to be true, and another who was so wrong, he ended up being right. It was only after being seduced by the loveable scoundrel Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant at his most charming) that she took a second look at the impossibly decent Mark Darcy (Colin Firth in a funny Christmas sweater). She discovered the hard way that had she chosen to spend the rest of her life with Daniel Cleaver it would have been a recipe for heartbreak and disaster, whereas spending it with Mark Darcy would have been a recipe for love and romance.
Bridget Jones’s Diary was an exception though. For the most part Hollywood has us convinced that all you need is to fall crazily in love and you’ll live happily ever after.
The movies are full of ridiculously mismatched couples falling passionately in love and driving off into the sunset to spend the rest of their lives together. The ruthless millionaire and the misunderstood hooker in “Pretty Woman” makes a great story but in real life it just doesn’t work that way. They’d be cheating on each other before the month was over.
If you truly want to improve your chances of finding someone who’ll love you at least as much you’ll love him or her, complete your Matched Opposite Checklist. It’ll help you pinpoint your values and motivations– the areas in which you need to be matched, and those areas in which you’re better off as opposites–your personality and behaviour styles. Finally you’ll list your “deal breakers,” the things you could never put-up with no matter what. For example, if you don’t like guys with beards, perhaps you could persuade your MO to shave it off, but if you can’t abide silly humor and your guy is a perpetual jokester, watch out. You don’t need grim reality checks once the initial thrill has settled down.