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The quickest way to blast a hole in a relationship (especially if it turns out you aren’t matched opposites) and to bring out the worst in your partner is to trample on his or her key feelings. These feelings drive their behavior and sense of self, and over time, damaging them can have serious consequences.
For example, controllers thrive when they feel they are keeping things in line and that all systems are working smoothly. Avoid making your controller feel as if he is losing control or he could become a bully. You could eventually drive him to look else- where to re-establish his sense of power.
Likewise, if you habitually embarrass or humiliate your analyst, she may become a nag or a com- plainer and there may be no returning to how things were. In the long term, you run the risk that she will leave and look for respect from someone else.
You can do many things to your promoter, but if you ignore or disapprove of him too many times, he will explode and then sulk. He may be forced to go looking for appreciation and importance elsewhere.
A supporter will put up with a lot, but if you constantly reject her feelings, she’ll curl up in a ball inside and only after a very long time—if ever—will she trust you again. Eventually she’ll go off in search of understanding, value, and acceptance in someone else’s arms.