Talking to strangers isn’t just the right thing to do. It’s a matter of survival.
It has never been more important to talk to strangers than it is today. Polarized politics, political correctness and digital distractions are pushing us apart and making strangers out of all of us. The result is an epidemic of anxiety, isolation and loneliness across...
The #1 Success Factor
Reading time: 100 seconds.Professor Thomas Harrell at the Stanford Business School spent 20 years examining Stanford MBAs looking for the success factor. He concluded the only identifiable predictor of success is something he called "social extroversion" - the ability...
A simple risk/reward calculator.
A Simple Risk/Reward CalculatorREADING TIME: 30 SecondsWe are pre-conditioned to avoid risks even though we deal with them on a daily basis. As a result, we turn away from opportunities to create the jobs we dream of, build the lives we long for, and make the moves...
I Tap Dance to Work
When Bill Gates, the richest man in the US asked Warren Buffett, the second richest man in the US “How do you define success?” he replied, “I tap dance to work.” That’s StorySpeak. Warren Buffett used the happy tone of old Hollywood song and dance movies where the...
The Rewards of Introducing People
READING TIME: 100 Seconds Introductions are an important part of business. Learn to handle them graciously, and you display the hallmark of a polished business professional. Introducing Others If you introduce your boss to a friendly media contact, or a client to...
What’s Wrong with Mr. Perfect?
An editor at Esquire magazine asked me why a certain reader’s profile wasn’t getting the desired results. On the surface this 39-year-old, good-looking guy with a great life/job/future seemed like Mr. Perfect. I gathered eight women aged 23 to 35 (his desired range)...
Nobody wants to be lonely. Daisy’s story.
READING TIME: 60 SECONDS I’ll never forget the first words Daisy spoke when she introduced herself at one of my workshops several years ago: “I’m so used to jerks I can’t even recognize the nice guys anymore.” Ever since childhood, Daisy explained, she had been...
Find your tiger.
We all have a voice. Sometimes it’s hard to find it but we live in a time we can no longer keep quiet. You can find you voice in Part 2 of The Irresistible Power of StorySpeak.
Do one thing well.
Success really is that simple. Find your unique gift and do it repeatedly. When you’re really good at that one thing, people will want to pay you for it, or to teach them how to do it. You can find your unique gift in part 2 of The Irresistible Power of StorySpeak.
What is StorySpeak?
When Warren Buffett, the second richest man in the US and holder of the unofficial title “America’s Greatest Storyteller” was asked, “Do you enjoy your work?” He replied, “I tap-dance to work.” That’s StorySpeak. He credits his ability to create short stories and...
The irresistible benefits of StorySpeak
READING TIME: 4 MINUTES StorySpeak invigorates ideas, stimulates cooperation, sways attitudes and opinions and arouses growth. In Education… Ask any high school student who his or her favorite teacher is and then ask why. Chances are the answer will be, “Because she...
Everything You need to Know About Telling Stories in Conversation
Excerpted from The Irresistible Power of StorySpeak READING TIME: 90 Seconds 1. Hook them from the start If you're going to tell a conversational story about the time the airline destroyed your luggage, first tease your listeners with something like "Let me tell you...
boothmanship – the art of selling at trade shows
Conventional "sales training" has very little effect on the people manning your trade show booth or exhibit because at a trade show the clients come to you and not the other way around. And most of the time they want to talk to experts and not sales people. So it can...
The Irresistible Power of StorySpeak: the skill every business – and individual – needs to master
From a world renowned expert on face-to-face communication, with over 3 million books in print in more than 30 languages, comes The Irresistible Power of StorySpeak, the trust-inducing ability to strategically change attitudes and behaviors, and forge emotional...
Party your Way to the Top
READING TIME 90 SECONDS On March 16th, 2008 Jussi Karppinen closed his office door in downtown Helsinki, sat down at his desk and Googled “borrow money.” On the other side of the door his staff of twenty-five realtors plodded about their business convinced any day...
Nobody wants to be lonely.
READING TIME 70 SECONDS Why is having someone special so important to us human beings? Not just for companionship, for safety, or for convenience, but because we have a need to express ourselves emotionally and intellectually, we all need someone we can trust to talk...
5 Ways to Manage Constant Complainers
Reading time: 90 Seconds 1. Interrupt 2. Investigate 3. Validate 4. Motivate 5. Delegate It can be really frustrating having to deal with people who are always complaining. Of course, you have the usual four options for dealing with difficult people:...
The Unflinching Magic of Staying Focused
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS Abigail is in front of her management team, catching some softball questions from her managers. She’s finding out a lot more from them about how they’re going to handle the next year’s challenges than they’re finding out from her because of...
Wise words from Bishop Desmond Tutu
Smile. Never let them know you're angry.
Find Your Matched Opposite and Find True, Lasting Love
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS “We are each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.” —Luciano de Crescenzo As comfortable and tempting as it might feel to be attracted to someone who is just like you (after all, like attracts like), or...
100 great ways to stay single forever
Use a coupon on your first date Flirt with Bed Head Turn-up for your first date 6 months pregnant Brush your teeth once a week Throw yourself at people Turn down all social invitations Talk about your previous sexual conquests Be...
If You’re Going to Make Assumptions – Assume the Best
READING TIME: 120 SECONDS - As I write this Boost, I assume I like you, the reader. I assume I need you; I assume you need me. And what’s more, I assume I’m right. This is what gives me the confidence to keep on writing. Assumptions at their best are great for...
Leadership from Beneath
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS - On the surface Abigail is an everyday woman. Beneath the surface she is an assertive leader. An assertive leader’s language may be artfully vague and her body language gentle, but never doubt that she is always focused on what she...
Do Companies Give a Damn About Clients?
READING TIME: 110 SECONDS - Giving a Damn is The New Benchmark When you give a damn, you give energy – good quality energy. When you don't you zap energy. My butcher, hardware store and car dealership are all 20 minutes farther away than their competition, but they...
Your Message Goes Where Your Voice Goes…
READING TIME: 20 SECONDS. ... and your voice goes where your eyes send it. Eye contact engenders trust. Smiling makes you appear happy and confident. Say “great” to yourself three times to get in the mood.
3 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Read a “How to” Book on a Kindle
Kindles and eReaders are fabulous for reading linear books. In fiction, stories and biographies you start at the beginning and read through to the end. Perfect for eReaders. I take my Kindle with me everywhere for this. But ask anyone who has read and...
Connect Like You Give a Damn
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS. I care passionately about human potential - and it shows. I give a damn about my books, my readers and my corporate speaking clients – and it shows. 80 percent of all my speaking engagements are word of mouth and repeat business, 9 of them in...
7 Ways to Become a Temporary Extrovert
READING TIME: 50 SECONDS We live in a world where millions of introverts are forced to masquerade as extroverts just to make a living: and it doesn't always come easy. Here are seven simple tips for becoming a temporary extrovert. greet people frequently, notice the...
Five Steps to a Successful Transition from Employee to Solopreneur
READING TIME: 80 SECONDS When people, purpose, projects and passion come together, fear and doubt go out the window, potential and confidence go through the roof, and profits pile up at the door. So, Ask yourself what am I prepared to risk to shake things up? Get...
Fully-Connected Leadership
Great Organizations require Fully-Connected Leadership It doesn’t matter whether you're running an IT empire, managing a hotel chain, or giving the State of the Union speech, great leaders connect on three levels at the same time: trust, logic and emotion. Great...
The One Skill Every Professional Needs
It doesn’t matter whether you’re launching a new product line, interviewing for a job, selling real estate or designing concept cars: when you’re explaining the benefits of a decision, persuading teams to incorporate new processes or showing stakeholders how a project...
Connect with Someone New Today – in Person
READING TIME: 80 SECONDS Connecting with other people brings infinite rewards. And whether it’s landing the job, winning the promotion, gaining the sale, charming a new partner, electrifying your audience or passing inspection by future in-laws, if people like you,...
Different, Desperate and First Past the Post
Two years ago we made a study. What we observed was extraordinary. After studying more than seven hundred leaders from all walks of life, from financiers to industrialists, movie stars to celebrity chefs, Nobel Prize winning scientists to entrepreneurial...
Keynote Speaker – The Different Types!
Once upon a time, a keynote speaker was a smartly dressed person in a suit who stepped up onto the stage at the beginning of an event or convention or after a dinner. The job of the chosen keynote speaker was make a strong emotional and rational connection with the...
Motivational Speaker vs. Inspirational Speaker
“Why do you think there are so many motivational speakers around?" Could it be that hiring a motivational speaker doesn't work? Oh sure, the message a motivational speaker delivers works for a day or two, or maybe even a few weeks but, sooner or later, the happy...
If You Risk Nothing You Risk Everything
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS As a means to an end risks can quantum leap you towards your goals and dreams and jump you out of your daily drudge. As an end in themselves they are often no more than gambling with fate. We are pre-conditioned to avoid risks even though we...
This is how long you should live
To calculate how long you should live, divide your age by 4 and subtract it from 105. Read the whole piece and find out why
How to “Click Quick” with all Kinds of People
Burst into life
There's not a single Fortune 500 company, billionaire, nobel prize winner or celebrity that will refute that: 1. we are more talented, creative, resourceful and confident than we ever dreamed possible – once we make up our minds to do something 2. unpredictable...
I just had this crazy idea!
Reading time: 90 Seconds RISK AND REWARD In 1762, John Montagu, the Earl of Sandwich, had a crazy idea. He was a big-time gambler who didn’t like to leave the gaming table. When he got hungry he told his servants, “Bring me a slice of meat between two slices of...
The UPS Store’s passion starts at the top
In my mailbox this morning was a hand-addressed envelope containing a hand-written note. It was from the president of the UPS Stores in San Diego, thanking me for the speech I gave last week to wrap-up their three-day convention in Dallas. This man oversees almost...
Want to be happy and lucky? That can be arranged.
In 2004, Professor Richard Wiseman, at the University of Hertfordshire in England, studied the beliefs and experiences of 4,500 lucky and unlucky people. He concluded that good fortune is not due to talent, hard work, good looks or intelligence - it’s a state of mind....
There’s No Such Thing as Shy
READING TIME: 80 SECONDS: I am consistently asked, "but what if I'm shy by nature?" Here's the good news. Nobody was born shy - it's not a human attribute. So-called shy people were more than likely born "Cautious" or Reserved." These are excellent human attributes. I...
Does Public Speaking Turn Your World Upside Down?
READING TIME: 100 SECONDS. A lot of people are afraid of public speaking, so much so that fear of public speaking outranks fear of death. And according to a recent article, the only greater fears than public speaking are acrophobia (fear of heights) and ophidiophobia...
Nothing beats face-to-face
Sure we're in the electronic age but nothing beats the impact, speed and results of a face-to-face encounter. When more than 90% of your communication comes from non-verbal signals nothing beats the personal touch. Here are my top ten reasons why face-to-face beats...
It Takes Crazy Courage to Make Great Things Happen
Researchers out of the University of British Columbia asked the question, “What makes extreme athletes take risks?” It’s a good question, especially in light of watching the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. Why do people do crazy things? According to their research,...
Humbility – the winning combo
Reading time: 150 seconds. Ever wonder what's the best way to open people up and make them feel good? Try a little "Humbility" in your conversations. Humbility is simply a big ego cloaked in a slightly bigger humility. You can use Humbility to cement the foundations...
The Value of Personal Information When Negotiating
READING TIME: 50 SECONDS. Never underestimate the value of personal information and common ground when negotiating online, on the phone or face-to-face. In a series of studies carried out between several groups of MBA students from well-known business schools, half...
Easy Public Speaking
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS. It’s always puzzled me why public speaking is higher on America's list of fears than death or the economy. What's the big deal? The catch-22 of public speaking is that the more you do it the easier it becomes. The problem is that most of us...
Flirting your way to the top!
Reading time: 90 seconds + 30 Ever wonder why some people get promoted even though they don't deserve it? Success doesn't just depend on how well you do your job, it depends on how people feel about you. And plenty of people know how to flirt their way to the top. I'm...
The 10-Second Risk-Taker
You're either growing or you're going - there is no middle ground. So, do one thing different every day that scares you. On the other side of that fear, life is waiting for you. Same goes for businesses, communities and loving relationships.
8 Good Reasons to Make Small Talk
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS. WHAT is small talk? On the surface small talk is casual chitchat about nothing in particular. WHAT is the purpose of small talk? In spite of seeming to have little useful purpose, small talk is a bonding ritual and a strategy for quickly...
Float Like a Butterfly: Sting Like a Bee
READING TIME: 180 SECONDS. Want some inspiration? Listen to Dylan (like a rolling stone), Jagger (I'm a king bee), Paul Simon (a bridge over troubled water) or your favourite band. Virtually every song written is full of i-kolas. And what about the greatest of them...
#1 success factor
Reading time: 100 seconds.Professor Thomas Harrell at the Stanford Business School spent 20 years examining Stanford MBAs looking for the success factor. He concluded the only identifiable predictor of success is something he called "social extroversion" -...
The Power of Because
READING TIME: 110 SECONDS. Telling people the reason why you are doing something has a major influence on how they react to you because, more often than not, people willingly comply with requests when given reasons why they should. Ellen Langer, a social psychologist...
Be Brave. Take Risks. The 3rd Risk-Takers Advantage
A true story from my next book Be Brave. Take Risks. “I’d steadily climbed the career ladder as a Chartered Accountant for the last 20 years. I had an amazing job on paper (good pay, good security, prestigious, well respected) but I couldn’t imagine doing it for 20...
Be Brave. Take Risks – The 2nd Risk-Taker’s Advantage
Stuck in a rut going nowhere Reading time: 90 seconds. “I was going down the rut route,” Jason told me. “For eleven years I’d get up at the same time every day, look in the same mirror, drive the same route, see the same faces, park in the same spot. One day it dawned...
“A ship is always safe at the shore but that’s not what it’s built for.”
"A ship is always safe at the shore but that's not what it's built for." Albert Einstein. The #1 risk-takers advantage The British have a wonderful tradition called a “Gap Year.” It’s a year taken off by a student between secondary school and higher education....
2-steps for getting job interviews
Reading time: 3 minutes. Say you’re ready to make a move from your current work. How do you approach finding your next job? According to MSNBC, job seekers who use the want ads are successful only 5 percent of the time, while the success rate jumps to two-thirds for...
Mindset Trumps Skillset – Big Time
READING TIME: 70 SECONDS - What does it take to get, and keep, the job you want? Ninety-six percent of employers argue it's not just about having the right skills for the position - it's all about the right mindset. And now there’s statistical proof. For 20 years I’ve...
7 Tips for Instant Cooperation
READING TIME:70 SECONDS - If you want instant cooperation always use the word “because” (“have you thought about talking to/incorporating this because……”) Automatic response is based on reason, or at least the appearance of reason. Adjust your attitude to fit the...
Your Zip Code Is More Influential Than Your Genetic Code
READING TIME: 80 SECONDS - A new study by The Lancet, the world’s leading medical journal, finds that during the reign of Michael Bloomberg, New Yorkers tacked an extra 10 years on to their life expectancy when compared to the rest of the nation. That means the...
There’s No Such Thing as Rejection: There is Only Selection
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS - As meet new people there’s one thing that can make a big difference for the worse - if you let it - it's the way you handle rejection. I had more than my share of rejection when I was growing up and I learned the hard way that there are...
Bust old barriers and build new bridges
Reading time: 100 seconds With a couple of 90-second bursts of crazy courage and a few small steps you can change your life forever - by the end of the week. We are not limited by what we can do - we're limited by what we are willing to try. Our willingness to break...
Selling is not just about building relationships
Great salespeople don’t just build relationships, they challenge their customers to think differently and inspire them with new ideas. Every sales professional falls into one of five distinct profiles. Relationship Builders Hard Workers Lone Wolves Reactive Problem...
As of this year Avis is no longer trying harder – it’s official
Reading time: 70 seconds. Last week I spoke to Volkswagen America's fantastic team of product specialists at their corporate head office in Herndon, VA. Later, as we handed back our rental car I was surprised to see that Avis just dropped its famous slogan, "We Try...
Discover if you’re with the right person in 90 seconds or less
Reading time 90 Seconds. Step 1 - Find Your Key-Feeling before You Make Another Move It will save you agony, heartache and years of hanging around wasting time. After interviewing more than two thousand people who have been together for more than twenty years, and are...
Test Your Senses
Reading time: 90 seconds - ALL DAY LONG, we give away vital keys as to what motivates us— through our body language, our tone of voice, our eye movements and our choice of words. We simply can't help it. As we grow up we learn to rely on one sense more than the others...
If you’re not growing – you’re going
Reading Time: 90 Seconds Connect and Live Longer. People, passion, projects and purpose are more important to health and longevity than diet and exercise. Humans are energy systems. We get our energy from just three sources: food, fresh air and other people, and...
No Substitute for The Real Thing
READING TIME: 60 SECONDS - When we bond face-to-face, the “seeking” emotions trigger the release of a feel-good chemical inside us called dopamine: and we feel energy and pleasure. If we like and trust the person, the calming and “satisfaction” rewards of oxytocin and...
The Power of Togetherness
Like all energy systems in nature, we humans only come with 2 settings: grow or go. Live or die. Nothing in between. There’s a tiny part of your brain that sits at the top of your spinal column that you need to know about. It has a big job: it is in charge of your...
Flash a Smile, Cast a Glance. Linger Longer
READING TIME: 70 SECONDS - Giving a stranger a small smile or even just making eye contact as you pass can have a huge impact on their feelings and their health. Researchers at Perdue University found that even the smallest amount of eye contact, or a smile, or...
Snap judgments.
Reading time: 90 seconds. Try this at a function, a trade show, or in the grocery store line—somewhere you encounter strangers you can approach. Pick out a person you think has some negative aspects. Ask them where something is—the rest room or the deli—and check out...
GUGOGI – your very own 3G Network
Get Up, Get Out, Get Involved - Reading time: 90 Seconds Peter, a 68 year-old psychotherapist by day and an "almost-legendary" singer/songwriter by night, had been in a lot of pain for weeks because of mounting health problems. A few months ago Peter got up, got out,...
You are me and we are all together
Reading time: 45 seconds. Just take a look at the person sitting next to you, or in front of you - or look at anybody. The great truth is that person is just you, going through a different set of experiences since the day they were born - and doing their best to get...
5 Ways to Appear Socially Smarter Over the Holidays
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS - A while back I appeared on The Today Show on NBC and was asked how can you appear smarter, socially when you walk into a room full of of strangers. Here's what I said: 1.Wear great clothes - more people will take you seriously (don't over do...
What’s your “Big Idea”?
Reading Time: 90 Seconds - Smart companies recognize the value of tapping into their employees’ values, of making their work meaningful. One of the ways they do this is by creating a mission statement. Some go even further and distill their mission statements down to...
Pitching for Profit
Reading time: 90 seconds. "Every person who got a deal on Dragon's Den, without exception, was able to articulate their business idea in 90 seconds or less." Kevin O'Leary, Dragons Den on CBC, Shark Tank on ABC. To illustrate what Kevin means here's an excerpt...
Connect and live longer
Reading time: 90 seconds - What's all the fuss about connecting face-to-face? Simple. When you actively make new connections you'll live longer, be healthier, make more money. Here are a few things to consider The benefits of connecting with other people: Connect to...
It’s official. Radio makes you happy.
Reading time: 40 seconds - Want to boost your happiness and energy levels? Switch on the radio. A recent UK study called “Media and the Mood of the Nation” polled more than a thousand people by smartphone and asked them to record what media they were consuming, and...
The Quickest Way to Blast a Hole in a Relationship
READING TIME: 70 SECONDS - The quickest way to blast a hole in a relationship (especially if it turns out you aren’t matched opposites) and to bring out the worst in your partner is to trample on his or her key feelings. These feelings drive their behavior and...
Performance, perceptions and language.
Reading time: 35 seconds - Remember those little blocks we played with as kids. The ones with the letters on them? We built them into words and the words took on meaning. As we grew we learned to make words into phrases and phrases into sentences. Then all of a sudden...
Men, brood. Women, smile!
Reading time: 70 seconds - Canadian researchers at the University of British Columbia, asked 1084 heterosexual men and women to rate the sexual attractiveness of people of the opposite sex based on a photo. The study, published online in May, 2011 in the American...
What if motivation is the opposite of inspiration?
Reading time: 90 seconds - Enjoyment at work and play comes from doing what comes naturally. The French call this “joie de vivre,” the joy of living. The ancient Greeks had a great word for it, “enthusiasm.” In English we call it “passion.” Many people have lost any...
Get Social
Reading time: 70 seconds - The best way to begin to meet new people is through the people you already know—your friends, family, and colleagues. I realize this is not earth-shattering knowledge, but sometimes the obvious bears repeating. Starting close to...
Communication is a double edged sword
Reading time: 80 seconds - Communication is a double-edged sword. It works best when you say what you want, not what you don’t want. I live on a farm in a very picturesque part of the countryside. One of my neighbors raises horses. At weekends people come out from the...
Why William and Kate will live happily ever after
Reading time: 40 seconds - Thankfully, William and Kate are Matched Opposites. So are Charles and Camilla. Sadly, Charles and Diana were not. No matter what you might have read or heard elsewhere, the truth is that exciting, loving, lasting relationships are an...
Changing minds with body language
Reading time: 85 Seconds - Sometimes getting people to move from one emotional state to an entirely different one can be difficult. For example, if you intend to move someone from indifference (“I’m busy; I’ve got a lot of other things on my mind; can’t this wait?”)...
Resisting temptation
Reading time 40 seconds - Pride makes us feel good – shame makes us feel bad. New research from the Marshall School of Business shows that when it comes to motivation we’ll do more out of pride than we will out of shame. Three separate groups of volunteers were put...
Really Useful Attitudes
READING TIME: 60 SECONDS - There are three really useful attitudes that great communicators have in common: enthusiasm, curiosity, and HUMBILITY. In the right combination, these three attitudes create an irresistible presence. Be enthusiastic. Enthusiasm is hypnotic,...
The Dreaded Question
READING TIME: 90 SECONDS- “So. Why should we hire you?” You grimace as your shoulders slump and the wind goes out of your sails. “Well,” your stomach sinks as you answer. “I have a number of accomplishments I'd like to tell you about, but I want to make the best use...
Love at first sight – the facts
Reading time: 45 seconds Dr. Earl Naumann, author of Love at First Sight, interviewed and surveyed 1,500 individuals of all races, religions, and backgrounds all across America, and concluded that love at first sight is not a rare experience. What’s more, Dr. Naumann...
Celebrity Service
Reading time: 55 seconds - A couple of years ago I spoke to 400 financial advisers on a one week cruise around the Caribbean. The service aboard the Celebrity Millennium was exceptional (there are ways to tell if it’s for real). By chance I learned that the head of...
The three-second rule
Reading time: 90 Seconds Did you ever miss out on an opportunity because you were too slow off the mark? Or talk yourself out of doing something and then regret it later? Have you ever sat in a bar nursing a glass of wine or beer all night, watching other people enjoy...
Let’s say you want to date a hog farmer.
Reading time: 150 seconds Sarah Edwards, 26, grew up on an Ohio horse farm surrounded by cornfields. She met her husband, Grant Edwards, 27, on FarmersOnly.com, when she was living in Columbus and tired of dating city boys who didn't understand her. A former boyfriend...
What’s in a username?
Reading time: 120 Seconds How about love at first “site.” Janice, a divorced mother of three, was lonely. “I just wanted some intelligent conversation,” she confided. “I knew nothing about Internet dating.” At her 17 year-old daughter’s urging, Janice signed up for a...
The art of flirting
Reading time: 8 Minutes Flirting is more than just fun - it’s fundamental. We are made for love: our entire survival as a species depends on it. If we stopped flirting, connecting and reproducing with each other we’d soon disappear. So, while nature has endowed us...
Accelerating emotional intimacy
Reading time: 110 Seconds At the heart of creating intimacy is self-disclosure. Basically self-disclosure is telling someone else about yourself—your experiences, your ideas, your hopes and dreams and feelings. It’s not a one-way street. The goal here is that your...
8.2 seconds to fall in love
Reading time: 70 Seconds London - The Daily Telegraph - March 25/09 The time needed for a man to fall in love at first sight is 8.2 seconds, scientists claim. The longer a man's gaze rests on a woman when they meet for the first time, the more interested he is. If it...
How can you find someone if you don’t know who you’re looking for?
Reading time: 50 Seconds In the movie Bridget Jones’s Diary, Bridget found herself caught between two men, one who's too good to be true, and another who was so wrong, he ended up being right. It was only after being seduced by the loveable scoundrel Daniel Cleaver...
Your social health?
Reading time: 90 seconds. Your "social health" is your ability to make human connections. Your "social capital" is your ability to hang on to them. An investment planner will advise you to diversify your financial capital to maintain your financial health. A social...
There is no rejection, only selection
Reading time: 4 Minutes One of the main reasons people are uncomfortable with dating and reaching out socially is the fear of rejection, but it’s a mistake to look at it this way. As you search for your matched opposite, you are going to spend a fair bit of time...
3 Steps to Create Your Image
READING TIME: 25 SECONDS - Think about your appearance and the clothes you wear; then think about the image and attitude you’d like to project. Ask yourself What aspect of my personality do I want to emphasize? What do I want my appearance to communicate to...
A gift that makes sense
Reading time: 50 seconds. Is there a way to figure out what someone will love as a gift? Imagine being able to know which sense somebody relies on most. When you find out, you can appeal to that sense above all others. The other person won't realize why, but they'll...
Falling in love is easy
Reading time: 75 seconds Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is a whole different story. We don’t actually fall in love with other people; we fall in love with the feelings we get when we are with them. We turn those feelings into words and suddenly our hearts...
Can you really fall in love in 90 minutes or less?
Reading time: 55 Seconds Falling in love is easy. Researcher Arthur Aron found this out in a series of experiments at the University of California. A man and a woman who had never met were put in a room together for 90 minutes and instructed to exchange intimate...
4 rules for a romantic date
Reading time: 50 seconds A box of chocolates, a bunch of flowers and dinner at a fancy restaurant are NOT romantic. They're very nice but you'll forget them in a week or so. Romantic means memorable and that means, "story-worthy." We don’t fall in love with other...
How to succeed without trying.
Reading time: 90 seconds. Try this: place a pen in the extended palm of one hand. Now, with your other hand try to pick it up. If you picked it up, put it back down and try again. I said “Try to pick it up,” I didn’t say “Pick it up.” If you actually hovered over the...
Perfectionism
Reading time: 90 seconds. What do you say to the student with a 96% average who thinks she’s a failure because she doesn’t look perfect? Or the marketing manager agonizing over a presentation that has to be perfect before he meets with the client. Or the woman who...
7 fool-proof steps to connecting with a stranger in public
Reading time: 240 Seconds Most book lovers can’t even imagine dating someone who’s not also a book lover, so what better place to meet the person of your dreams than in a bookstore? Think about it: a bookstore is romantic, and its whole purpose is to arouse curiosity...
Future-shifting
Reading time: 45 seconds. Whether you're motivating a team, convincing a client, or arguing with your family: if you want to win them over, shift to the future tense. Praise and blame are delivered in the past tense - “You didn’t do this or that!” Values take place in...
Overcoming hesitation
Reading time: 180 Seconds The three-second rule The longer you put something off, the harder it is to do it. Did you ever miss out on an opportunity because you were too slow off the mark? Or talk yourself out of doing something and then regret it later? Have you ever...
2 simple rules for meeting new people
Reading time 5 minutes. George lost his wife Nancy to illness when he was 55. As the months passed he became lonely. Then he attended one of my talks and heard me give my two simple rules for meeting people: Entertain once a week without fail, and accept all...
Making yourself memorable
Reading time: 7 minutes. What good is meeting someone for the first time, creating a favorable impression and establishing rapport if two days later they’ve utterly forgotten you? Advertisers pay fortunes to keep their products “top of mind,” job seekers want to...
How will you know when you’ve got what you want?
Reading time 50 seconds. Close your eyes and create a “future memory.” Pick a specific and reasonable moment in time. What will it look like, sound like, feel like, smell like, and taste like? The raw language of the brain comes from the senses—pictures, sounds, and...
Approachable or Authoritative?
Reading time 90 seconds These are the North and South Poles of first impressions. Building a professional identity to project a strong first impression must take these same boundaries into account. Somewhere between the two extremes of approachable and authoritative...
Stepping stones to a good story
Reading time: 90 seconds Stories are to the human heart what food is to the body. Advertisers polish them, marketers spread them, lawyers bend them, and religions exalt them. We watch them unfold on the screen, read them in books, and when we can’t find one handy, we...
Birds of a Feather
Reading time: 50 seconds - Imagine being able to know which sense somebody relies on most. When you find out, you can appeal to that sense above all others. The other person won't realize why, but they'll feel naturally drawn to you. It's natural - birds of a feather...
Getting free information
Reading time: 90 seconds. It’s easy to get free information from a stranger. This doesn't mean trying to learn someone’s credit card number. What it means is learning the other person’s name, interests, personal situation and more. Most people are more than eager to...
Making small-talk
Reading time: 90 seconds: Small talk is just casual chitchat about nothing in particular. Ask questions about what he or she likes to do in their spare time. Where are you from/going? Family? Fun? Current affairs: the weather, the news, sports will do in a pinch. Or...
Matched Opposites
Who will complete you? No matter what you might have read or heard elsewhere, the truth is that exciting, loving, lasting relationships are an artful blend of “like attracts like,” so you actually like, respect, and can put up with each other; and just...
Real romance
Where would real love be without stories? Just look over your shoulder at the past. What do you see? Not a world of atoms and molecules but a world of stories. From ten thousand years ago to today. Just stories! Stories of adventures, conquests and love. Stories are...
Being memorable
Reading time:90 seconds: What good is meeting someone for the first time, creating a favorable impression and establishing rapport if two weeks later the person has forgotten you? Give other people a reason to remember you, and they will. Ask yourself these...
The girl next door?
Reading time: 70 seconds Peter Backus, a teaching fellow of economics at the University of Warwick, published his Why I Don't Have A Girlfriend theses after spending three years without a partner. The math wiz used the Drake Equation, a formula used by scientists to...
The Phone Zone
Reading time: 90seconds + 30 When you’re on the phone, you may have a great connection, but you have to be sure that you’re making a great connection. There’s no body language for you to read. Your only clues to what your conversational partner is thinking or feeling...
Take them with you.
Reading time: 90 seconds. It’s staggering how many people attend business parties at this time of year and forget to take their business cards. I attended a launch for a book on leadership last week. Eighteen people asked me for my card. When I asked for their card in...
Engineering introductions
Reading time: 90 seconds. If a stranger across a crowded room catches your fancy, ask your host or a mutual friend or acquaintance to introduce you. But don't leave things to chance. Instead, prepare your own ten-second commercial ahead of time by telling your...