- Use a coupon on your first date
- Flirt with Bed Head
- Turn-up for your first date 6 months pregnant
- Brush your teeth once a week
- Throw yourself at people
- Turn down all social invitations
- Talk about your previous sexual conquests
- Be high maintenance and make lots of unreasonable demands
- Flirt with the waitress instead of your date
- Bite your nails so your fingers tell people you are a stressed-out, nervous wreck
- Let hair grow where it shouldn’t
- Avoid making eye contact when you meet someone for the first time
- Act bored and be sarcastic
- Gossip a lot
- Wear cheap or badly fitting clothes
- Tell everyone you know that love at first sight is a load of baloney
- Send mixed signals, like smiling when you are angry
- Dive at your date slobber all over his or her face when you are drunk on the first date
- Eat with your mouth open and if possible make lots of noise
- Slouch
- Interrupt people when they are talking
- Snort when you laugh
- Make sure your fingernails are dirty and chipped
- Talk loudly in the middle of a movie at the cinema or at the theatre……or church……library…etc.
- Tell lies
- Constantly pull your pants up
- Check out everyone of the opposite sex in the room instead of your date
- Spend lots of time looking at yourself in the mirror or shop windows as you pass
- Always bring the conversation back to yourself
- Constantly yank up your bra strap
- Overload your perfume or aftershave
- If you smoke make sure your clothes smell of tobacco
- Break wind in public
- Dress as if you were 20 years younger than you really are
- Act like you know it all
- Forget to flirt
- Avoid entertaining
- Wear business socks with sandals
- Sit with your legs wide open in social situations
- Go to bed early every night
- Avoid traveling
- Spit in the street (this works especially well if you’re a woman)
- Pick at your acne
- Use loads of foul language
- Get addicted to TV, video games or the Internet
- Act like a victim and feel sorry for yourself all the time
- Wear clothes 2 sizes too small so people will have ammunition to criticize you
- Phone people in the middle of the night (especially after a couple of cocktails)
- Wear a poorly-fitting toupee
- Let spit fly out of your mouth when you talk
- Be a hermit
- Change the subject abruptly in the middle of a conversation
- Talk about your ailments
- Look around the room when someone is talking to you
- Scratch a lot
- Fold your arms when talking to other people
- Be inflexible and unwilling to change
- Gain plenty of excess weight
- Cough without covering your mouth
- Get drunk as often as possible
- Act frigid and aloof
- When you’re in a conversation with someone you don’t know, keep touching them on the arm or the back, even though you just met
- Pick your teeth and eat what you find
- Anticipate what the other person is going to say and butt in
- Wear dirty clothes
- Pick your nose when you think no-one is looking
- Talk about stuff no one wants to know about like your haemorrhoids or your mother
- Scare people with your driving
- Talk more than you listen
- Talk about how much money your ex makes
- Hang up the phone without saying goodbye
- Wipe your nose on your sleeve
- Always aim for sex on the first date
- Chain smoke
- Be hard to please
- Don’t give feedback
- Fall asleep when someone is talking to you
- Play with your crotch in public
- Try to change others to what you want them to be
- Talk on your cell phone during a date
- Do drugs
- Wash your hair twice a month (or less)
- Put your face right up against people when you talk to them
- Go overboard trying to impress people
- Monopolize conversations
- Burp in public
- Leave food stains on your clothing
- Ask embarrassing personal questions
- Don’t wear deodorant
- Turn conversations into belligerent arguments
- Brag about how much money you make
- Close yourself off to as many new experiences as possible
- Don’t clean your living space
- Don’t wash your car
- Don’t vacuum your car
- Argue as much as possible over minor issues
- Eat garlic and/or onions before a date
- Keep a vicious animal as a pet
- Let infestations form in your attic or refrigerator
- Talk on your cell phone in the car, in a restaurant, anywhere where you and your “date” are….especially in front of your date….Oh and don’t forget to talk really loud, so everyone can hear your end of the conversation.
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