“We are each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.” —Luciano de Crescenzo

As comfortable and tempting as it might feel to be attracted to someone who is just like you (after all, like attracts like), or as stirring and romantic as it might feel to be pulled toward your exact opposite (opposites attract too), it simply doesn’t work over the long term.

No matter what you might have read or heard elsewhere, the truth is that exciting, loving, lasting relationships are an artful blend of the two: just the right amount of “like attracts like,” so you actually like, respect, and can put up with each other; and just the right amount of “opposites attract,” so you can enjoy being silly together and keep the sparks flying.

The person who has the right combination of these two things is what we call your Matched Opposite. Matched in values and motivators, opposite in behavior and personality traits.

Hold up your hands in front of you. You don’t have two left hands or two right hands. You have a perfect pair of matched opposites. Individually, they can do many things, but together they can work wonders. I’m often asked, “How do you know when you’ve found the right person?”

Most of the people I interviewed for this book said the same thing: Normally, when you fall for someone new, there are the head-spinning feelings of excitement and desire, but there’s also tension. When you meet your matched opposite, however, that tension is replaced by an enormous, unmistakable sense of calm, certainty and relief.

My book, How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You in 90 Minutes or Less is about finding, attracting, and connecting with your matched opposite—and then establishing mutual emotional intimacy in 90 minutes or less. To write the book we looked at 2,400 couples who’d been together for more than 20 years and are still actively crazy about each other.

Part 1 helps you gain a fuller understanding of yourself and who your matched opposite may be.

Part 2 shows how to fine-tune your people skills so you make a fabulous first impression and are ready to connect.

Part 3 shows how to move from connection to intimacy to love—fast.