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Imagine being able to know which sense somebody relies on most. When you find out, you can appeal to that sense above all others. The other person won’t realize why, but they’ll feel naturally drawn to you. It’s natural – birds of a feather flock together.

You’ll probably find you share the same preferred sense as your friends, and that’s good for friendship: but bad for business.  You can choose your friends but, most of the time, you can’t choose who you do business with.

To the untrained eye (or ear), all of us look, sound and feel just like ordinary folks; however, to the trained person there are subtle but important differences.

Two politicians were considering running for the leadership of their party. An interviewer asked them to “voice their plans,” one said, quite thoughtfully, “I’m leaning heavily toward giving it a shot.” The much quicker response from the other man was “Now that we have a clearer view of the future, I can see the possibilities.” The interviewer responded, “Sounds like you’re both ready to announce your intentions.”

Can you grasp the distinction? The interviewer, using phrases like “voice your plans” and “announce your intentions,” was probably Auditory (sound preference). The first aspiring leader used physical language—“lean heavily,” “give it a shot”—and spoke deliberately, indicating a Kinesthetic (feeling preference) inclination. The second hopeful candidate had “a clearer view” and could “see the possibilities,” and therefore came across as Visual (seeing preference).

When you can figure it out another person’s preferences you can connect on the same level. And they won’t realize why they feel drawn to you.

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