READING TIME: 60 SECONDS
I’ll never forget the first words Daisy spoke when she introduced herself at one of my workshops several years ago: “I’m so used to jerks I can’t even recognize the nice guys anymore.” Ever since childhood, Daisy explained, she had been uncomfortable being on her own. “I’d cling on to just about anyone for company rather than be alone. I’ve had my share of heartbreak.”
Daisy shared a house with three other people, a guitarist who was away on tour most of the time, the guitarist’s girlfriend, and a young philosophy student who was in year two of an affair with a married professor. They all had their separate spaces in the house, but nevertheless it wasn’t the sort of environment that lent itself to leisurely entertaining. Perhaps because of her fear of being alone,
Daisy embraced the idea of creating a socializing action plan. It took some creative thinking at first, because she had to find a way to do it that didn’t depend too heavily on bringing people over to her place, but before long she had become a sort of social facilitator. “One day I might phone some friends or acquaintances and suggest we go to a movie,” she explained. “I’d pick up the tickets ahead of time so we could meet and have a coffee before the movie.” Another day she’d phone a different group and suggest they meet up at an art opening or local fair. Yet another day she’d pull together a group to go bowling, or to hear an author speak at a bookstore.
Daisy ended up knowing dozens and dozens of people and had no trouble getting dates. As she got a better grasp of the principle of completion (see chapter 2) she learned to reject the jerks and focus in on the good guys, and after a while she met and married her Prince Charming.
Today Daisy is the wife of a diplomat in the Foreign Service—and entertaining in style.